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Vulnerability for Men

Charity • 13 September 2023

Reawaken Your Desires

We often hear “men only want sex” or “sex is the only thing men think about”. From my own experience as a sex and intimacy coach, men are more often seeking intimacy and an opportunity to be vulnerable. The only place men feel comfortable or think they can experience. This is through sex. Society has, in many ways, perpetuated stereotypes and expectations. around masculinity that make it challenging for men to express their emotions openly.


Men often feel pressure to conform to traditional ideas of toughness and self-reliance. These expectations often discourage them from being sensitive, vulnerable, or expressing their needs openly. This suppression of emotions can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and a sense of disconnect from their own emotions and the emotions of others.


Consequently, many men find themselves longing for deeper connections, genuine companionship, and the warmth of emotional intimacy. It's crucial to recognize that these desires are not exclusive to any gender; they are basic human needs. Men, like women, thrive in environments where they can be themselves, share their thoughts and feelings openly, and receive the care and affection they need.


Changing the narrative around this conversation is important for breaking down the barriers that hold men back from expressing their needs and desires. I encourage men to speak openly about what they truly seek - whether its emotional connection, physical touch, or a supportive community. To let men know that masculinity can also embrace vulnerability, sensitivity, and the full spectrum of human emotions.


Men: I want to hear you say "I love you"; without fear of judgment. To express your needs without reservation. To truly experience the depth of human connection and intimacy that you, like everyone else, truly deserves. Every individual, regardless of gender, requires and deserves affection, understanding, and love.

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness."

- Brené Brown

by Charity Danker 28 March 2024
As a relationship therapist and coach, I often encounter stories from both men and women who feel victimized by their partners. While some cases involve genuine harm, many examples revolve around self-imposed sacrifices—acts made without the other person even requesting them. I frequently hear about unspoken truths and unexpressed desires. Women often use the word “sacrifice”, claiming they’ve given up so much for their partners. However, when asked whether their partner explicitly requested these sacrifices, they usually admit that no such request was made. In reality, their partners didn’t deny their desires; the women denied themselves. They chose to: Reduce contact with friends to prioritize family time. Forego careers or education due to perceived limitations. Avoid playing favorite songs because of their partner’s preferences. Why do we interpret someone's dislike of our choices as a mandate to change our entire lives? Some women inadvertently limit themselves based on others' preferences and then blame those others. Here’s the truth; no one forces you to change–you made that choice. As mothers, we must indeed need to be loving, attentive, nurturing, and supportive. However, this does not mean sacrificing our individuality. Our music, clothing, and entertainment preferences are a part of who we are. Let’s reject the notion that being a good parent requires suppressing our truest selves.
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