As a relationship therapist and coach, I often encounter stories from both men and women who feel victimized by their partners. While some cases involve genuine harm, many examples revolve around self-imposed sacrifices—acts made without the other person even requesting them. I frequently hear about unspoken truths and unexpressed desires.
Women often use the word “sacrifice”, claiming they’ve given up so much for their partners. However, when asked whether their partner explicitly requested these sacrifices, they usually admit that no such request was made. In reality, their partners didn’t deny their desires; the women denied themselves. They chose to:
Why do we interpret someone's dislike of our choices as a mandate to change our entire lives? Some women inadvertently limit themselves based on others' preferences and then blame those others. Here’s the truth; no one forces you to change–you made that choice.
As mothers, we must indeed need to be loving, attentive, nurturing, and supportive. However, this does not mean sacrificing our individuality. Our music, clothing, and entertainment preferences are a part of who we are. Let’s reject the notion that being a good parent requires suppressing our truest selves.