Reawaken Your Desires

In my years of working with clients, I've encountered many individuals who reach a point in their lives where they've lost touch with their own desires, wants, and needs. Often, they find themselves overwhelmed by the weight of responsibilities and obligations, which can be a significant barrier to understanding their true desires. Through heartfelt conversations, I've come to realize that for many, this disconnect harks back to their childhood.

A specific example comes to mind. One client shared her close bond with both parents. Her father, even now, avoids making decisions, while her mother, driven by a need for control and security, took charge of all household choices. For this client, this dynamic felt entirely normal, providing a sense of comfort in relinquishing decision-making.

However, this coping mechanism led to a loss of connection with her own desires for her husband, meals, social interactions, and more. Her career consumed her, leaving little room for anything else. Her husband noticed her struggle; mentioning how she wouldn't even pick out a dress or what to eat for the day.

I identified that she felt disconnected with herself. I identified her underlying fear of desiring something that might upset her husband, driving her to avoid conflict. As many of us know, when we make decisions from a place of fear or wanting to avoid conflict, we create conflict within ourselves and we are preventing ourselves from having what we truly desire.

I urged her to embark on a week-long journey of self-reflection, asking herself, "What do I desire?" numerous times a day. Then with every opportunity to make a choice, especially when being asked by someone else, she was encouraged to sit with the question until her body and/or subconscious gave her an answer. Furthermore she was encouraged to pause for 5 seconds, close her eyes, take a deep breathe and ask herself what do I desire here, then she could answer.

She found that she did have preferences and desires. Within a few weeks, she felt a newfound vitality. Her desire for connection and intimacy with her partner and others surged.

I implore each of you to take moments to ask yourselves, "What do I desire?" Embrace those desires with courage, even if they sway from someone else's expectations. Play with this concept, and observe the transformative effect it may have on your life, much like it did for my client. Reconnect with your desires and allow them to breathe life back into you.

“Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone.”

- Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes