Reflecting on Change

When I look back on the year and what changes I have made, my impulse is to declare that I haven't changed at all. However, as I reflect on the progress I've made in 2023 (a later blog to come), I realize that I HAVE changed in several ways.

I now prioritize self-care by dedicating time to myself and maintaining a regular yoga routine. I've learned to give myself more space to make mistakes and have gained a newfound confidence.

Meditation has become a significant part of my life, and I'm steadily approaching the ability to visualize on my own terms. I find more joy and positivity, and my awareness of how I impact the world and how it affects me has sharpened.

I have finally understood my worth. Throughout the year my friends and colleagues have continuously said that I don’t know my worth;  I now fully comprehend what they mean. Not only professionally, but in my personal life. 

I recognize that I cannot be with a man who doesn't make an effort towards me, as his integrity, or lack thereof, will influence me. I've embraced the concept of allowing men to lead, and if they don't, I won't remain beside them. I will no longer chase  men. I approach dating with integrity, clearly understanding my purpose from the start. I evaluate their purpose, my level of attraction, and I am quicker to end entanglements. Three to five dates seem to be sufficient.

I've released major blocks and aligned with my feminine side, experiencing a transformative journey in my personal growth.

Sex, for me, has transformed into a spiritual connection and path. Casual encounters with strangers leave me feeling like an unpaid sex worker, making me equally unhappy. Thus, I no longer engage in casual sex unless I am a full-body "yes," approaching it with the intent of relationship research.

The struggle with hormonal imbalance, combined with a new perspective on relationships and self-worth, has significantly reduced my dating and sexual interactions. This shift is particularly challenging for someone whose identity revolves around being a sexual goddess, teacher, and therapist.

The most profound change has been learning to view myself as a sexual being, even when not engaged in sexual activities with others. On the positive side, solo pleasure has become more fulfilling. I finally understand what women mean when they say, "I can have a better orgasm by myself than with someone else touching me." Now, I too can enjoy pleasure on my own terms, cultivating a new relationship with surrender.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."  - Alan Watts

What changes have you made throughout this year and how have they affected you positively? I'd love to hear from you in the comment box below.