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Love Means Learning to Embrace

Charity Danker • Feb 28, 2024

The Misconception of Love: Why Demanding Change from Your Partner is Not the Answer

In many relationships, one common issue that arises is the desire for partners to change certain behaviors that cause frustration or upset. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that if your partner truly loved you, they would make permanent changes to accommodate your wishes. However, what many fail to understand is the dynamic at play when it comes to asking someone to alter their natural selves.


When you identify something about your partner that bothers you and demand change, you're essentially asking them to alter their natural selves. Initially, they may try to accommodate your wishes. But after a few weeks, they often revert back to their original behavior. Why does this happen?

 

Consider this: when they first attempted to change, they were conscious of their behavior. They made an effort because they love you and wanted to please you. However, as time passed, stress or overwhelm might have caused them to forget about this conscious effort. Perhaps they didn't receive the reward or acknowledgment from you that they needed.


Love isn't about demanding change; it's about understanding, acceptance, and embracing the entirety of your partner's being. So, next time you find yourself wanting your partner to change, pause and reflect on what true love really means. It's time to shift the focus from demanding change to embracing who they are at their core.


Love is about acceptance, not transformation.

by Charity Danker 28 Mar, 2024
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